Who am I? What am I? Where did I come from? How did I get here? Why am I here? What is my purpose in life? What is my destiny? These fundamental questions, and countless variations of these questions, have no doubt been posed time and time again by individual human beings since the dawn of humanity as they have attempted to understand more about life and their place in it. I know that in my 59 years (very soon to be 60), I have, in one manner or another, asked myself these questions myriad times. Also, I would venture to say, that it's a sure bet that I will continue to do so for sometime to come.
As one would expect, with such a tradition of repetitive query, there would have been many answers to emerge along the way. And, there have been. However, the bulk of the answers I have managed to unearth have proven to be transitory in nature serving more as a series of toe holds and bivouacs within the journey of self-discovery rather than any permanent or stable end point. Over these almost six decades now, there has really been only a handful of answers that have demonstrated to be of an enduring, even expanding, quality, which suggest to me that these few answers may very well be inherent components of actual self. We'll see...
Being one that has an affinity for both mysteries and adventures, the journey of self-discovery has been and continues to be the most incredible quest that I could have ever hoped or imagined to be involved in. I know for quite a long time I thought that such a quest could only exist outside myself, certainly not within myself. But, as I have slowly discovered, my decison to embark upon the exploration of self has pulled and pushed me into a vast frontier that, if it had ever been previously charted and codified, such work was lost or hidden long ago.
I truly suspect that the exploration into self might very well be an infinite undertaking. What an incredible journey, what an incredible adventure the discovery of self has turned out to be. Speaking of adventure....
Adventure in one dictionary is defined as: 1. A hazardous or perilous undertaking. 2. A stirring or thrilling experience. 3. Risky or exciting activity. I agree with all three! My adventures in self-discovery have been all of that and probably much more. Has my adventure been hard? Yes. Difficult? Yes. Perilous? Yes. Thrilling? Yes. Painful? Yes, at times there has been pain, really deep pain. Fun? Yeah, lots of fun! Stirring? Yes! Very much so. Boring, dull or dreary? Yes, even those elements have had a part to play in this adventure of mine.
In my exploration of self, I have come to consider myself to be much like a prospector searching for gold only the gold that I look for is truth. The truth, I have learned, is scattered all over the place and can be found in some of the most unlikely of locations. And, like in prospecting for gold, one has to be willing to sift through a lot of dirt, rocks, gravel, sand and a sundry of other debris in order to isolate and extract the real deal from the sea of pretense. On extremely rare occasions, though, I've been really "lucky" and struck a big vein but, many times more often than not, the accumulation of truth comes in a diversity of little flecks, specks and the occasional nugget picked up here and there along the way.
There was a time in this journey of self-discovery where I was convinced that I had, by no coincidence, happened upon an incredibly rich vein of gold. Before long, I knew without a doubt that I had definitely hit the mother lode! And for a long while I truly believed that I had found the portal by which to access all the gold there was to be had. Well...I eventually learned that I was wrong about that. And yeah, it took a bit of time to sort myself out from that seductive illusion but no regrets. Once I was on the other side of that experience, I figured it was just part of the sifting process and without equivocation, I most definitely added an enormity of gold to my box at that particular claim. Gold that I very much needed and am very grateful to now have in my possesion.
Now that I have detached myself from the notion of there being a "one stop portal to all truth", I am once again actively engaged, without restriction, in the exploration of self. I am again out on my own free to roam with my tenacious ethereal burro, pickax, sifter, a bit of dynamite and, can't forget this...my trusty pan. And what fun this unrestricted prospecting is! I must say, though, that I have become acutely aware of the fact that what I see as gold is not necessarily what another might see as gold and vice versa. I have come to realize, on a whole new level, that truth and reality, as the journey of self-discovery itself, are all most definitely of a highly personal nature. But...that's my gold. It might not be the next person's.
I have also learned that finding even the tiniest speck of gold in the most unlikely of places or mistakenly picking up some fool's gold and thinking it's the real thing are neither one to be discounted in value. For I have discovered that such experiences can affect my trajectory in ways I would've never imagined and open doors I would have normally walked right on by without even a second glance (probably would not have even recognized them as doors to begin with).
I used to consider that truth was something that was fixed and solid but the more I evolve in my considering I have come to view truth as something that is quite fluid and pliable. Perhaps truth exists as an infinite set of concentric spheres where it manifests uniquely in each sphere and each sphere is different from any other sphere. Furthermore, I can visualize each sphere within this concentric arrangement of spheres as being multi-dimensional i.e., each sphere is composed of many, many frequencies from where it begins and ends. And at each sub-frequency, each gradient layer, truth is manifesting as a unique vibrational pattern percieved only if the viewer happens to be tuned to that specific vibrational pattern. If my awareness is confined to only one sphere that contains x amount of dimensions or on just a few vibrational patterns, then I am aware only of the truth of that sphere or those patterns. But, as I gradiently expand my awareness out into other dimensions and spheres, I come to know other truths and the many layers of truth existing from each sphere that I'm aware of build upon one another to form even another truth - a combined truth - that appears to run parallel to the concentric spheres.
In my pursuit of answers regarding the true nature of my existence I have gradually formulated a short list of basic points to keep in mind as I progress on this journey. These are:
1) Things, situations, reasons, intentions, outcomes, circumstances and people (this includes myself) are rarely what they appear to be. And with that in mind, remember...emotional passion and/or personal conviction do not equal truth.
2) Throughout this exploration ensure to disabuse myself of any need, want, desire or compulsion to be liked or admired, to believe in, disbelieve, agree, disagree, embrace or reject. In this journey it will be my willingness to look and my willingness to experience anything that will serve me best.
3) Contine to look and listen (this includes listening to self). The more you look, the more you listen, the more you will see, the more you will hear and the more you will learn. and, don't just look at what attracts my attention, look too at that which repels me. On probably more of an abstract level than any other (maybe not), dots never previously recognized will first begin to appear and then later, begin to connect. Yes, I know, this is ambiguous but, it's just the way it seems to work and it's another good reason why not to discount anything for seeming not to fit.
4) Truth is an enormous puzzle. For all I know it might even be an infinite puzzle. In any case, there are easily more pieces to this puzzle than I can possibly imagine at this time. therefore, if I plan on putting this puzzle together then know this going in and realize that there is most probably no single end point but instead, a continuous series of both end points and start points.
5) Beware of becoming overly attached to any particular notion, perspective, opinion, viewpoint or conclusion. I must be prepared to change my mind frequently. This is not being fickel, wishy-washy, a flip-flop or any other derogatory and introverting labels. This is being agile while remaining in the ever changing NOW.
6) In the words of Will Durant... "Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance." ...be prepared to discover mine.
7) On my journey of self discovery I am my own guru. This "hat" cannot be delegated to any other entity. Of course, it can be useful and helpful at times to compare notes with others on their own journey (gold can be found in such exchanges) but, keep in mind, there is no one else that knows as much about me as I know about myself, therefore, keep my own counsel and do not turn my power over to another. Also, beware of anyone or any "guru" that is setting their self up as an all knowing source or as a via to all knowing source for this is ego not viable guidance.
In closing, to take upon the quest of one's own self-discovery could be construed by some as being some form of indulgence in egocentricism. To any person that might assume such a point of view, I would have to say, "Try it for a while yourself and see if you don't soon discover that such a notion is far from being the case." Indeed, I would encourage anyone, if not already on their own journey of self-discovery or has at some point given such a journey up, to start or restart the journey, as the case may be. It's one of the few activities on this planet that requires absolutely no money to participate in
As one would expect, with such a tradition of repetitive query, there would have been many answers to emerge along the way. And, there have been. However, the bulk of the answers I have managed to unearth have proven to be transitory in nature serving more as a series of toe holds and bivouacs within the journey of self-discovery rather than any permanent or stable end point. Over these almost six decades now, there has really been only a handful of answers that have demonstrated to be of an enduring, even expanding, quality, which suggest to me that these few answers may very well be inherent components of actual self. We'll see...
Being one that has an affinity for both mysteries and adventures, the journey of self-discovery has been and continues to be the most incredible quest that I could have ever hoped or imagined to be involved in. I know for quite a long time I thought that such a quest could only exist outside myself, certainly not within myself. But, as I have slowly discovered, my decison to embark upon the exploration of self has pulled and pushed me into a vast frontier that, if it had ever been previously charted and codified, such work was lost or hidden long ago.
I truly suspect that the exploration into self might very well be an infinite undertaking. What an incredible journey, what an incredible adventure the discovery of self has turned out to be. Speaking of adventure....
Adventure in one dictionary is defined as: 1. A hazardous or perilous undertaking. 2. A stirring or thrilling experience. 3. Risky or exciting activity. I agree with all three! My adventures in self-discovery have been all of that and probably much more. Has my adventure been hard? Yes. Difficult? Yes. Perilous? Yes. Thrilling? Yes. Painful? Yes, at times there has been pain, really deep pain. Fun? Yeah, lots of fun! Stirring? Yes! Very much so. Boring, dull or dreary? Yes, even those elements have had a part to play in this adventure of mine.
In my exploration of self, I have come to consider myself to be much like a prospector searching for gold only the gold that I look for is truth. The truth, I have learned, is scattered all over the place and can be found in some of the most unlikely of locations. And, like in prospecting for gold, one has to be willing to sift through a lot of dirt, rocks, gravel, sand and a sundry of other debris in order to isolate and extract the real deal from the sea of pretense. On extremely rare occasions, though, I've been really "lucky" and struck a big vein but, many times more often than not, the accumulation of truth comes in a diversity of little flecks, specks and the occasional nugget picked up here and there along the way.
There was a time in this journey of self-discovery where I was convinced that I had, by no coincidence, happened upon an incredibly rich vein of gold. Before long, I knew without a doubt that I had definitely hit the mother lode! And for a long while I truly believed that I had found the portal by which to access all the gold there was to be had. Well...I eventually learned that I was wrong about that. And yeah, it took a bit of time to sort myself out from that seductive illusion but no regrets. Once I was on the other side of that experience, I figured it was just part of the sifting process and without equivocation, I most definitely added an enormity of gold to my box at that particular claim. Gold that I very much needed and am very grateful to now have in my possesion.
Now that I have detached myself from the notion of there being a "one stop portal to all truth", I am once again actively engaged, without restriction, in the exploration of self. I am again out on my own free to roam with my tenacious ethereal burro, pickax, sifter, a bit of dynamite and, can't forget this...my trusty pan. And what fun this unrestricted prospecting is! I must say, though, that I have become acutely aware of the fact that what I see as gold is not necessarily what another might see as gold and vice versa. I have come to realize, on a whole new level, that truth and reality, as the journey of self-discovery itself, are all most definitely of a highly personal nature. But...that's my gold. It might not be the next person's.
I have also learned that finding even the tiniest speck of gold in the most unlikely of places or mistakenly picking up some fool's gold and thinking it's the real thing are neither one to be discounted in value. For I have discovered that such experiences can affect my trajectory in ways I would've never imagined and open doors I would have normally walked right on by without even a second glance (probably would not have even recognized them as doors to begin with).
I used to consider that truth was something that was fixed and solid but the more I evolve in my considering I have come to view truth as something that is quite fluid and pliable. Perhaps truth exists as an infinite set of concentric spheres where it manifests uniquely in each sphere and each sphere is different from any other sphere. Furthermore, I can visualize each sphere within this concentric arrangement of spheres as being multi-dimensional i.e., each sphere is composed of many, many frequencies from where it begins and ends. And at each sub-frequency, each gradient layer, truth is manifesting as a unique vibrational pattern percieved only if the viewer happens to be tuned to that specific vibrational pattern. If my awareness is confined to only one sphere that contains x amount of dimensions or on just a few vibrational patterns, then I am aware only of the truth of that sphere or those patterns. But, as I gradiently expand my awareness out into other dimensions and spheres, I come to know other truths and the many layers of truth existing from each sphere that I'm aware of build upon one another to form even another truth - a combined truth - that appears to run parallel to the concentric spheres.
In my pursuit of answers regarding the true nature of my existence I have gradually formulated a short list of basic points to keep in mind as I progress on this journey. These are:
1) Things, situations, reasons, intentions, outcomes, circumstances and people (this includes myself) are rarely what they appear to be. And with that in mind, remember...emotional passion and/or personal conviction do not equal truth.
2) Throughout this exploration ensure to disabuse myself of any need, want, desire or compulsion to be liked or admired, to believe in, disbelieve, agree, disagree, embrace or reject. In this journey it will be my willingness to look and my willingness to experience anything that will serve me best.
3) Contine to look and listen (this includes listening to self). The more you look, the more you listen, the more you will see, the more you will hear and the more you will learn. and, don't just look at what attracts my attention, look too at that which repels me. On probably more of an abstract level than any other (maybe not), dots never previously recognized will first begin to appear and then later, begin to connect. Yes, I know, this is ambiguous but, it's just the way it seems to work and it's another good reason why not to discount anything for seeming not to fit.
4) Truth is an enormous puzzle. For all I know it might even be an infinite puzzle. In any case, there are easily more pieces to this puzzle than I can possibly imagine at this time. therefore, if I plan on putting this puzzle together then know this going in and realize that there is most probably no single end point but instead, a continuous series of both end points and start points.
5) Beware of becoming overly attached to any particular notion, perspective, opinion, viewpoint or conclusion. I must be prepared to change my mind frequently. This is not being fickel, wishy-washy, a flip-flop or any other derogatory and introverting labels. This is being agile while remaining in the ever changing NOW.
6) In the words of Will Durant... "Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance." ...be prepared to discover mine.
7) On my journey of self discovery I am my own guru. This "hat" cannot be delegated to any other entity. Of course, it can be useful and helpful at times to compare notes with others on their own journey (gold can be found in such exchanges) but, keep in mind, there is no one else that knows as much about me as I know about myself, therefore, keep my own counsel and do not turn my power over to another. Also, beware of anyone or any "guru" that is setting their self up as an all knowing source or as a via to all knowing source for this is ego not viable guidance.
In closing, to take upon the quest of one's own self-discovery could be construed by some as being some form of indulgence in egocentricism. To any person that might assume such a point of view, I would have to say, "Try it for a while yourself and see if you don't soon discover that such a notion is far from being the case." Indeed, I would encourage anyone, if not already on their own journey of self-discovery or has at some point given such a journey up, to start or restart the journey, as the case may be. It's one of the few activities on this planet that requires absolutely no money to participate in
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